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汇丰银行内部培训商务英语写作教

2007/12/4 14:53:04 来源：菏泽视窗

只是将信件写得简洁明了还是不够的，语言也是一个重要的因素：你的用语要够“现代”，才能更好地沟通。

Being Clear and Concise: Is It Enough?

The letter below is clear and concise. But there still is a problem. Do you know what it is?

22 April 200X

Ms Fiona Green

100 Clearwater Bay Road

Sai Kung NT

Dear Ms Green

Phone Payment Service (PPS)

I refer to your telephone enquiry yesterday.

I would like to advise you of the details.

We sent you the Phone Payment Service (PPS) details and application form on 20 April.

If you complete and return the form to us, we can process your application immediately.

Thank you for your kind attention.

Yours sincerely

Clever Man

Manager

Smart Branch

Using Modern English: Why Do It

The letter still contains some "old-fashioned business English".

Look at the last paragraph of the letter.

"Thank you for your kind attention."

Does this sentence look familiar? Have you ever read - or written - this sentence at the end of a letter? Have you ever thought what this sentence means?

This remark only tells the reader two things:

l that they need to read the letter "kindly" (how does the reader do that?)

l that they need to read the letter "attentively" (again, how does the reader do that?).

It seems that the writer only wants the reader to read the letter...and not do anything else.

This sentence is an example of old-fashioned business English. There are many other examples, but, we shouldn't use any of them!

In all of your business writing, you should use plain and modern English. Your readers will like it. You'll also show that you represent a modern company.

Using Modern English: How To Do It

Study the table below. Avoid the old-fashioned expressions. Use only the modern words and phrases.

Old-fashioned

Modern

acknowledge receipt of

I have received

advise

inform/tell

assuring you of our best attention at all times

(nothing)

as per your request

as you requested

attached herewith please find

I have attached

captioned

(nothing)

deem

believe / consider

due to the fact that

because / as

Esteemed Sir

Dear Sir

to forward

to send

at your earliest convenience

(exact date)

hereby/ herein/ herewith

(nothing)

in compliance with your request

as you requested

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